I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
