dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
