Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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