Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
