so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
