If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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