Swine flu. Run for my life!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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