If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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