wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
