I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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