Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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