He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
