Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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