But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
