trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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