He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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