I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Where is the hickey?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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