Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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