You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
