i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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