Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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