Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A bitchslap is in order.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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