I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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