Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
