i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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