About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
