We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
