I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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