I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
