took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
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He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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