is your mom at the bar?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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