porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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