Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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