Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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