and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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