i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
