I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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