You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
