i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
