Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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