Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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