so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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