Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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