woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
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He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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