What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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