I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Green mimosas i think yes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
