i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
