I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
