honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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