Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
