How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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