so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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