Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
