you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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