You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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