38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
