You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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