I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
