Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
