i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
