Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
