Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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