her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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