Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
