Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
