Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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