she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
