I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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