What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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