Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
